I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
