at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
