So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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