no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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