do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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