screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
