Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
