I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
