Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Randomize
