I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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