I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
