I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
love makes seman taste better
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
