Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
