oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
