It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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