I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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