I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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