IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
only you would photoshop your dick
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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