my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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