i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
