So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
We are all done wearing pants today
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
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