Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
