How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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