Kiss
Puke
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
