I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
