maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
