what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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