Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
