those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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