I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
