yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
