Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
