I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
