The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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