Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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