I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
you never un-have a 4some
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
