So gin and wine won't be happening again
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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