you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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