Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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