fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
