I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
