Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Randomize
