can we get nightvision for the apartment?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
