Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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