Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
