I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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