Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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