i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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