Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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