If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
