you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
