My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
