if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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