last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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