Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
My ass is underappreciated
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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