I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
