I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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