If i come over, it means nothing
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
i believe in u and ur pee
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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